Smith & Watson, & Me
Thoughts on Being a
Companion to Saviors, Sociopaths, and Space/Time-Traveling Madmen-with-Boxes
This
one is for the ones who know all the words:
Sometimes,
I feel a lot like John Watson.
Now, mind: I have never been to
Afghanistan, nor Iraq neither; I am not a medical doctor, nor any other kind of
doctor.
No, I often feel like John Watson
because I am a Christian, a follower of God.
And trying to follow God is often a
lot like living with Sherlock Holmes.
Yes, God is very similar to Sherlock:
he ignores me (or appears to) when I try to talk to him, then he prattles on
about things I don’t understand while I am trying to do other things—even when
I’m not there to listen at all. He
disrupts my attempts at a quiet life with his seemingly arbitrary actions and
demands; he fills the fridge of my life with all sorts of strange, unlikeable
things which seem to serve no purpose—until they do—and yet…
And yet, in the end, it always seems
he knew what he was doing all along, and it turns out, he always had my best
interests in mind.
Every. Single.
Time.
(Okay, so maybe Sherlock isn’t
exactly like that, but God is.)
Do you have any idea how annoying it
can be to live with someone like that?
And then—and this is by far the worst
part—then, there’s the face. This is the one point where I can most
identify with our man John Watson, when he gets the face. There is a scene
in the Sherlock episode “The
Reichenbach Fall” that captures so much of the dynamic between Holmes and
Watson (and, as I am painfully coming to realize, us—or at least me—and God) . It goes like this:
John:
Don’t do that
Sherlock:
Do what?
John:
The look
Sherlock:
Look?
John:
You’re doing the look again.
Sherlock:
Well, I can’t see it, can I? [looks in the mirror] It’s my face.
John: Yes, and it’s doing a thing. You’re doing the “we both know what’s really
going on here” face.
Sherlock:
Well, we do.
John:
No. I don’t. Which is why I find the face so annoying!
I can really relate to that. So often, I get that feeling, the feeling
that God is giving me the look, the
look that says, “we both know what’s going on here; we both know what the next
step is…so do it!”
But really, I don’t know!
Or at least, I don’t think I
do. I feel like God has done all he is
going to do to show me the answer, now it is my turn to find that answer and
apply it.
So frustrating!
So what do I do in such a
situation? What? You want an answer? This is just an essay! An essay is just an attempt. That’s it.
Okay, I will try.
In such a situation—locked door
mystery, the answer clearly right in front of me, but I can’t see it—I recall a
friend who once said that sometimes God shows us what to do by closing every
door but one.
But…what if they are all closed?
Well, for that, I have to invoke
another Steven Moffatt/Mark Gatiss-influenced character: the Doctor.
Go ahead, ask the question…
Exactly. Yes, that Doctor. The Doctor, last of the Time Lords. The Doctor is full of all sorts of whimsical
wisdom. I have taped up on the wall of
my living room one of my favorite lines from the Doctor: “[It’s] a thing...It’s
a thing in progress! Respect the thing!”
(He was—once again—of course—trying to think his way out of a jam.) As I sit here thinking about what to do when all the doors appear to be closed, I
remember his[1]
words to Amy Pond in the episode where they first meet. There, he urges her to “Look…Exactly where
you don’t want to look; where you never want to look: the corner of your eye.” It’s how you get around perception filters—and we are oh so good at
throwing those up, making it impossible for us to see the truths that are right
in front of us. Now I wish I could tell
you that having learned this little trick from the Doctor, I can always see
right through my personal perception filters, right to the heart and truth of
things. But, no. I’m still working on that bit (Why do you
think I’m here, writing this essay?).
I’ll get back to you when I figure that bit out.
But before I go on (more) about the
Doctor, I must remember one more time Sherlock Holmes reminds me of God’s
always-wise-and-for-the-best-but-often-terrifying way of dealing with us. In the very same episode of Sherlock where he give John Watson the face, he also confronts Ms.
Mackenzie, housemistress of a school from which two children have just been
kidnapped. He quickly walks up to her
and begins to interrogate her:
Sherlock:
Miss Mackenzie. You’re in charge of
pupil welfare, yet you left this place wide open
last night! What are you, an idiot, a drunk or a
criminal? Now, quickly, tell me! [He rips
the afghan off her head; she
responds in a rapid babble of words, ending with “you have
to believe me!”] I do.
I just wanted you to speak quickly.
Miss Mackenzie will need to
breathe into a bag now!
Yep. There we have my experience of God.
Tevye said it well in Fiddler on the Roof; Evan Baxter said it
again in Evan Almighty: if God does
everything he does because he loves us, maybe we should ask him to do us a
favor & love us less. There is an
old story of a saint who once asked God to remove at least some of the grace he
had given the man, because it was just too much. Yes, sometimes God can be just a little too
much.
Getting back to the Doctor: not only
can he help us see things more clearly in ways, but he also provides another
good analogy; for dealing with God can sometimes, it seems to me, be a lot like
encountering the Doctor. Over the years,
the Doctor has had many companions, some more willing than others.
Me?
That’s easy: I’m Mickey the Idiot.
You remember Mickey Smith: cowardly,
sniveling boyfriend of Rose Tyler…In fact, maybe it’s like that: God is like
that combination of Rose & the Doctor.
You see, I used to be like Mickey; I always wanted the simple things:
meet a nice girl like Rose, take a simple job in a shop (or in my case, a
school), be happy. The end. But in comes the Doctor, with his leather
jacket and his Northern accent (lots of planets have a North, you know). Then he regenerates into David Tennant and,
well—how do you compete?
Poor Mickey. Poor me.
God sweeps in and disrupts my plans,
disrupts my life. And yet, I can’t get
on. Can’t get that simple shop job and
marry the girl from the shop, because God calls from somewhere in space &
time, and I come running!
What else am I supposed to do…?
To be continued (perhaps).
[1]
Yes, I know that the Doctor has recently regenerated into a female form, but
all my references here are to the pre-Jodie Whitaker Doctors, so for the sake
of clarity & simplicity, I shall continue to refer to the Doctor as “he.”
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